The Traveling Saleswoman

I participated in a fundraising vendor fair last night at a local school. There were 12 tables, 11 of them populated by direct sales vendors of different varieties. All the usual suspects were there. The crowd was small and most vendors seemed pretty disappointed with the turnout and their return on the event. It would appear that I did better than most, turning a profit and securing a party booking. So I thought I would share some observations on what works at these events and what could be problematic:

DO…
* bring cash and carry items. When you’re meeting people for the first time without them being in the security of a friend’s home for a party, most people are reluctant to give you their credit card number and wait 2-3 weeks for their item to show up. Far better to let them take something home with them that day. Sell off your samples or use your consultant discount to purchase a few popular items cheaply.
* have food samples and/or a raffle at your table - anything to get customers to stop and linger at your table long enough that they will actually look at your product and listen to your brief spiel.
* offer a further donation (if it’s a charity event) if someone books with you - this encourages a decision.
* court the other vendors - they can be a good source of info on upcoming vendor events, and sometimes your best customers!

DON’T…
* sit and chat with your friends rather than actually manning your booth.
* act totally bored and disinterested.
* refuse to hand out catalogs because they are too expensive - just get their contact details so you can follow up.
* sell Christmas items at a fair in May on an 80º day!
* leave in the middle of the event to get pizza!

I am not sure which scenario is worse.

1) The party where the hostess is expecting 10 people and 20 show up, leaving her short of food and the consultant unprofessionally scrambling to write orders on scrap paper and persuade people to share catalogs and having to try and do a presentation over a lot of background chatter.

2) The party where the hostess tells you she’s expecting 20-25 guests, she prepares a ton of food, you get your husband to drop off extra catalogs, and then only 6 people show and everyone is left feeling a bit deflated.

Both have happened to me. Neither is much fun.

I was chatting with some women recently about my business and they asked me to describe the worst party guest I ever encountered.

That would be about two years ago, at a party where there was lots of alcohol freely available. During the gathering time and the course of my 45 minute presentation, one guest drank an entire bottle of Baileys liquor. She then proceeded to verbally abuse me and insult my whole product line. The “F’ word was heard more than once (from her not me, I hasten to add). Then she decided she actually wanted to order some of my “f-ing crap”; however, she was too drunk to complete the order form (a friend had to do it for her) or sign the check. She then excused herself, went outside and vomited on the hostess’ deck.

At this point somebody called her husband and asked him to come and collect his wife, who was clearly in no fit state to drive herself home. Upon discovering this, the woman went around breathing fumes in everyone’s faces as she accused each person in the room of being the bitch who had called her husband and got her in trouble. I was quietly sitting at a table, trying to keep my head down and not get punched as I tallied up the orders.

I remember driving home that night thanking God for my quiet life.

One of the most fascinating aspects of this job is that I get to go into such a wide assortment of homes. From cramped apartments with ratty old furniture to gorgeous but sterile McMansions, I’ve seen it all - and everything in between.

Last night’s party fell into the latter camp. It wasn’t so much the size of the house; it was that the whole place was immaculately staged, as if it would be imminently featuring in a photo shoot for “Country Sampler” magazine. I’m talking old-fashioned washboards leaning artistically against antique desks, tons of embroidered sayings on pictures and pillows, all the sage greens and cranberry reds and beiges on the walls. It was gorgeous and perfect and barely looked lived in. How in the world do they live like that with a 4 year old child and both parents working full time?! Where are they hiding the piles of mail, the household clutter, the discarded sneakers and the random toy pieces that litter my house?

The thing that cracked me up the most? There was no trashcan in the kitchen. It was many feet away, down the hallway, hidden in an artistically designed wooden box in order to blend in with the furniture. The hostess “has a thing about trash near food”. OK, that’s where practicality would trump aesthetics for me….

The party I did tonight was in a very urban area, far from the quiet town where I live. It reminded me of the city I lived in before I had kids. The hostess and guests were all black, and appeared to all be single moms. There was an ever-changing assortment of brothers, nieces and babies, all with unusual names, and it was hard to keep track of everyone and figure out who went with which mom! Fathers were noticeable by their absence.

I arrived to set up at 5.10pm and found the place in disarray, but everyone was put to work and the place was soon transformed into party central. Some kids cleaned, others were dispatched to the store for food and ice - everyone had a role. The invite said 6pm but the first guest didn’t show up until around 7.15pm. Loud reggae music blared from the stereo. We ate fried chicken and danced and found surprising things in common.

It was a lot of fun, but very chaotic and quite a long way removed from my usual crowd! I was grateful for my GPS to guide me home to more familiar surroundings.

Other consultants who send me their newsletters written ALL IN CAPITAL LETTERS LIKE THEY ARE YELLING AT ME and including such spelling and grammatical gems as:

COME CELEBRATE THE BEGINNING OF SUMMER AND HAVE THAT PARTY YOU’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT AND PUTTING OFF FOR AWHILE.

NOT QUITE READY FOR A PARTY, YOU CAN SET UP AN ONLINE PARTY (LIKE A BOOK PARTY BUT BETTER) YOU SINE UP LIKE A PARTY THROUGH THE WEBSITE AND YOUR GUESTS CAN LOOK UP YOUR PARTY AND ORDER PRODUCTS AND STILL HAVE EVERYTHING SHIPPED DIRECTLY TO THEM AND YOU GET THE THE HOSTESS CREDIT.

When my company promises to release information on a certain date/time and then fails to do that, without even offering an explanation for the delay. They are always telling us to “underpromise and overdeliver” when it comes to our customers, an approach which I heartily endorse - I just wish it applied to their corporate announcements as well.

I hardly needed to bring my kit to last night’s party - the hostess already had so many of our products in her house, I could have done my presentation with just what she had lying around! Most of the guests were past attendees as well, so I had to work hard to keep their interest and present things in a new and fresh way. I don’t mind this - it keeps me on my toes. But I had to laugh when I was presenting the specials and people kept saying, “Already got that. Got that last year. Have that one too.” I got a booking for later this month, and I think some of the same people will be coming to that, so I need to change out several items and freshen up my display before then to give them something different to look at.

But even at a good show like this, there are always one or two things that make me roll my eyes. On this occasion, it was the lack of any handtowels in the bathroom, and the fact that the hostess’ not-even-two year old was still awake at 9.30pm when I left….